Pictures for prom night and the aftermath are up~

http://s466.photobucket.com/albums/rr29/weissritter_13/Prom%20Night%202008/

Hokay! It was a really long day for me and I mean long.

Woke up at 5 with butterflies in my stomach. I was anxious, nervous and afraid. The best thing? I do not even know why I'm feeling such. And so, I let the time pass till 10:30am, where I left for the saloon to get myself groomed for the prom that night. Was somewhat satisfied with my hairstylist's job and proceeded to flag a cab to meet Winter @ Tampines so that we could take the bus from there to Bedok to collect the cake for Kaen-aneki's birthday =3

After collecting the cake, we took the train to city hall and went to suntec. I kept pleading to winter to walk slooooowllly so that we would reach there late on purpose. But she ignored me and zoomed off without me. Reluctantly, I just followed -__-

Anime Festival Asia. An event so many people look forward to yet, I dread the day. God knows why. And so, we met the rest of the clique. I went around being santa claus and gave out my presents for the October and November peeps. Also, I got to meet 2 new people, Vivian and Bo. Shucks. Vivivan said I'd make a good Tyki and Bo kept saying I was a good guy. I. Swear. I. Was. Turning. Pink. =X

And so, at 5:30pm, my classmates contacted me and told me that time's up and we've gotta proceed to York hotel for prom. And it was JUST before we were gonna celebrate Kaen-aneki's birthday. Sigh. Aneki, if your reading this, I AM SORRY! I hope my present makes up for my absence. Oh yes. WINTER! I AM SORRY FOR NOT EATING YOUR CAKE x___x AND EVERYBODY WHO ATE MY COOKIES, I AM SORRY IF IT'S BAD/HORRIBLE/LOOKS CRUMBLY OR WHATSOEVER!

Well. That's for the 1st part of my long day. When evening comes, prom night begins. But it was seriously an overated event. I already came there knowing I won't expect much. 1st, It's too restricted. As in, there's not much freedom to let loose to a certain extent. In the end, it turned out to be a formal function. Sigh..I think I would stop the list here. All I can say, prom night sucked. I went with the right mentality to just go there, enjoy the food and socialise with my fellow classmates. Those who went there expecting something like a big thing in your life, then I shall pat your shoulder and give you a heavy sigh.

As usuall, such events will never go on schedule so prom ended at 11:30. After much confusion, arguments, plans and basically waiting around, we finally managed to gather the people. Since the night was still young, about 18 people wanted to spend the night out and not go home. I was one of them. After much planing and people going home halfway, we finally decided on doing the GREAT MARCH xD From Far East plaza, allllllllllllllll the way to the Esplanade. Well, it was alright at first but we lost all of the girls halfway through the walk due to their high heels. Pity them but made us guys move without hassle. At about 2am, we finally reached Esplanade's outdoor ministage with shelter through the rain. There, it was empty except for a couple smooching. We took off our smart shoes and socks and practically slacked around the area. Taking pictures, talking while me and a few others went hunting for any toilets which are available since most toilets are IN the building. Luckily, we found a toilet outside of the Esplanade. THANK YOU GOD.

With the toilet matter settled, the next thing we needed was food. Some suggested calling McDonalds and see if they delivered to the Esplanade xD In the end, we settled for 7 eleven AND IRONICALLY, it's situated at Marina square, the place I've been to earlier that day =__=

Our night only started later on. We decided to go back to the outdoor ministage but half way, we caught sight of a huge flight of stairs at the corner of Marina square. And so? We went there, 3 got knocked out while the rest of us stayed up. It was already 4. That was where the fun started. We started relieving the memories and times we had during the past 5 years in secondary school. All the stupid and idiotic things we did. The times we got scolded, caned, pissed teachers off. Or stuff like how innocent we were during sec 1 and how much we've changed from there. It was awesome. Everyone laughing our asses off, looking back at the things we do.

But the night had to come to a close. at 6am, we woke up the 3 sleeping musketeers who went to lala land and went to board the train back to the west side. In the train, all was silent. I managed to get a seat and was dozing on and off. After reaching Jurong East, we bid our farewells and here I am, at home, after a nice long bath. Still haven't had a proper sleep for I am about to leave the house again to continue the "after party" at my friend's house.

For that, here's me, signing off =D

Day 2 of baking and I must say, I'm satisfied what I've made. Chocolate fudge cookies and cut'n slice cookies with M&M's =D For a 1st timer, I must say, I've got a knack for baking I think. The cookies turned out round and nice and not forgetting doesn't taste bad at all >__< I hope the peeps who's gonna eat em will enjoy what I've made.

Speaking of tommorow..I am totaly not looking forward to tommorow. Gut feeling tells me that something, more inclined towards bad, would happen. The only thing I look forward to is the buffet during prom xD GONNA EAT MY SORROW AWAY~! xD But really, I don't feel anything. I'm just numb. *Facepalm* Now Linkin Park's Numb is playing in my mind. *Shakes head*

Before I start rambling on, I shall end it here. It's gonna be a longgg day tmr. *slaps face* Come on Kai! Stay sharp, look good and try to enjoy yourself tmr! Life's not over. We can start all over again~! For that, AFA and Prom, HERE I DESCEND!

What if I would be able to turn time?

What if I hadn't said those things back then?

What if I had just remained ignorant to my feelings?

So many what if's..Yet I was a fool. Couldn't let myself go. Eventhough I feel the end.

Dear diary,

It's been awhile since I've been rebelious. How you ask? By going out and not coming home till the next morning. Best thing? 25 missed calls and 8 messages. All not answered. What was I doing? Attending a friend's BBQ party and then playing Guitar Hero World Tour over at his house from 9pm till 4:30am in the morning. Boy did it felt great. Being rebelious and jamming it out with my classmates through the night. What a form of escapism..

During the BBQ, I automatically offered to help cook for the rest and help out my friend's mum. Surprisingly, as I stood infront of the hot pit as I cook, I didn't sweat. This snowman didn't melt! Also, wise words frommy friend's mum made me look at reality for a bit even in my escapism. "BBQ-ing food takes time and patience. Like they say, good things don't come easy and it will come to those who wait", she said. That kinda made me think for a bit as I tend to the food till the whole BBQ ended and we headed back up to their house.

But alas, it had to end and as I went home, had my bath and now typing down my thoughts, the adrenaline is slowly going away. And then, it's gonna be back to reality..And man do I feel guilty now for worrying my mum like that due to my selfishness...I guess after trying my best to be a good person for all these years has sunk deep into my skin. That past demon is just but a fleeting memory which would haunt me occasionally..

Come on self, get a grip!

Dear diary,

I apologise for my outburst last night. It's been awhile since I let go of the frustrations, problem and thoughts inside of me. Thank you for serving me all this years, my emotional intercooler. I doubt anyone reads you anymore, so, for that, I think I can just shout my heart at you. Well, I'll save that for another day. Afterall, I'm just but a simple bottle. How many liters of stuff I can take before I reach my full capacity? I have no idea. But when it does start to overflow, I'll be sure to empty myself here =P

But man. With the holidays here, I thought I'd be able to run from it all. Escape. But instead, as I sit at home, with nothing to do, I reminicise, lament and sigh at myself for all that has happened over course of the past few months. Though I might have managed to psycho myself into thinking that, "This is all part and parcel of finding my happiness", I still think, why do things go wrong EVERY single time it comes to matters of the heart? Having seeked advice from my childhood friend, he straight out, told me bout the situation I am in. "Bro, EVERYTHING is going against you". Yes, I did say cooly that I'll duke it out with my emotions and steel myself till better days trenscend but if things always break apart before it even starts, then what the heck?! Yeah, so people tell me I'm a good guy, a gentlemen. And somehow, I manage to help people solve the many problems they have in life. But what bout me, myself and I. Why can't I be the person to save myself? Why must others save me? Why can I save others while others can't seem to save me? Why must my path to happiness be so tainted, poluted and cluttered that I suffocate and collapse from the mess before I even start searching for that gem. Yes, so I usually tell people, "If you think your suffering, there are others who are suffering even more". In the state I am in now, I say screw it. I want to think for myself more then I think for others. I pissed away the best in me because of that. BUT. YET. When I do be selfless, some people around me just, somehow, can't accept what I'm doing. So wtf? I help you humans so much and destiny just laughs at my face and give me shit? Hello~? I'm human too. I want my slice of happiness as well. Yes, you do give me happiness but in small increments. It's like the economic recession, except, you give me more and longer recessions then rises..If you do so, then the person won't flourish and just wilter.

I guess my childhood friend is right. Everything is going against me. Life and all. Yet, I still don't wanna stop. However, the wall blocking me called fear, still stands. I fear for my reputation, my life, my future and present, my relationships with people and currently, my feelings for her. When would be the time when I could just cast all these aside and feel light that I would feel reborned again then I could maybe pluck that courage to confess. But no, life just has to throw me into a scenario where I'm in a great state of confusion with the voices around me and hurt someone's feelings in the process. Sigh..Life..If this is your idea of a joke, it's not funny. If this is your idea of a test, I've endured. You want me to endure somemore? I'll gladly take up your challenge though I'll just keep wilting the further I go for you forgot to water this Mimosa. A defective touch-me-not who would gradually stop opening due to the lack of "rain" and constant "touching" of people.

I'll stop here. For now. Before I write an essay bout my rants eventhough I said I wont rant today.... Man I rant like a bitch..

Dear diary,

With the war over, thing seems to have settled down. My classmates have all gone job hunting while I'm at home bidding my time, as I have secured two jobs. One job as a salesman at Isetan Orchard serving a French designer brand called Agnes Bí. The other as a tutor for my kid sis. I get friggin paid to teach my own sibling! How coold is that >__< Well, that's for jobs.

Well, another big thing happened for me today. I FINALLY SCORED MY FIRST GOAL, IN MY SCHOOL FIELD, DURING AN OFFICIAL MATCH! The sec 5's won the sec 2's, 9 - 4. It was an AWESOME match. The 1st half, we got trashed 4 - 1. However, during the second half, our morale somehow came back, we played leisurely and came back with that immense number of goals. An awesome comeback.

Like I always say, after each recession, there's always a rise. It's a vicious cycle. Well, it's been happening alot in my life. After each major setback, I gain small, valuable, good things in life. It's like finding a beautiful rose in a midst of rubbish. So, I hope with this rise, I'm finally able to be with her. Well, somehow ^^

One last thing for the day. I REAAALLLY THINK, I'm attracting the wrong gender *Facepalm*. Lately, this classmate, god, please show him the way. He's paranoid that we didn't call him for the soccer match. So what the eff? You had to like friggin go to my house to ask for my handphone number?! WTF. Man.. Last year, I was stalked by a guy and now another paranoid guy just have to come disturb my peace. The other peeps OUTCASTED you. I'm neutral. So, you throw your complains to me, it's as good as talking to a wall. I'm not picking a fight. I'm just saying, if your gonna blame me too for not calling you out for the soccer match today, think twice. Who was the one who counselled and helped you out with YOUR relationship problems eventhough MY OWN love life is in shambles and I had MY OWN problems? ME. Who was the one who bothered to even talk to you when the rest outcasted you? ME. So, be thankful that I even listen to you.

God..That felt great..Really. Could it be true like what my friends say? Because I love putting on women's perfume that I'm attracting males then females? D8 If it's true then...OTL Bleah..Stupid class politics...

Dear diary,

With nothing much to do till that last paper, I've been pretty much having R&R. Re-reading Detective Loki again and it kinda reminded me of Kuroshitsuji. Why? Loki and Ciel have lots of similarities >__> They both look simillar, they have butlers (Though Sebastian is waay cooler then Yamino *__*), they both live in a mansion (Phantomhive mansion FTW!).

Other than that, I've just been scared to hystrics last evening thanks to Bev *facepalm* It's now or never man.

Still no idea when my ESP LTD F-250 is arriving in Singapore. But I've got plans to get a new effects pedal. A ZOOM G 2.1. It's an awesome piece of machinery. Finally I'll be able to record my playing directly to the CPU thus it's ear friendly to the dudes who listen to me play.

Other than that, yesterday was AWESOME. Been awhile since I tried dressing up or doing anything cosplay related. Thus me and my two friends played around with eyeliner and one of the wigs which I don't use at all. I've updated my profile with one of the pics so you, whoever that reads this humble blog of mine, can view xD

I shall end here.

Peace out-

Dear diary,

Day 15. Tactical errors again. Studied chapters which didn't appear in the paper. Was pretty much using common sense and some general knowledge to answer the SEQs. Man..God, please let me pass with a C6 at least for combined humanities m(_ _)m

Things are pretty much slowly going down the drain for me. I've pissed the best of me and now it refuses to study >__> "COME ON SELF! IT'S JUST FOR 3 MORE PAPERS! PLEASEEEEE!"

Other then that, guitar is dying on me. It's producing buzzes and noise when plugged. F-250, pleaseee arrive in singapore already! I've got enough money to buy you!!! D8

Lastly, the pieces of the puzzle are starting to form and I can somewhat understand the situation better. There's not much to do but wait.

Sigh, my form of escapism won't last much longer as it'll end in 9 more days! D8 You've been a good friend O levels (_ _)

Apart from that note, reality is crawling slowly back to me as the countdown till the end of the war continues. Aside from that, nothing much has happened. Been pretty much living like a hermit =3. A hermit who's been eating nothing but vegetables for the past few weeks xD I'm a carnivore damnit! But oh well. This body is screwing up on me thus the need for nutrition T___T

Other then that, been compiling a few recepies here and there to bake for Kaen and the rest of the SRF some pastries as it's her birthday on the Anime Festival Asia. Figured cake would have to wait as it's gonna be a hassel for the peeps to eat while some are busy cosplaying and some,enjoying themselves. Also, since I would just be dropping by, least I could give is something to eat. So~At least, eventhough my prescence isn't there, my food would keep ém company >__<