A reminder to self

-Hopeless romantics are only hopeless in the eyes of those who don't believe in romance(Jean Zheng)[Romantics see love where others do not]

-To have the rose, you must accept the thorns(Joe sin)[If you avoid all the pains of love, you'll also miss the pleasures]

-The great question - which I have not been able to answer - is, "What does a woman want?"(Sigmund Freud)[When a woman is a mystery, loving her is an endless adventure]

-If you were going to die soon and had only one phonecall you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?(Stephen Levine)[If you wait too long, it might be too late. Call right now]

-I did not know I loved you until I heared myself telling you so. For one instant I thought,"Good god, what have I said?" and then I knew it was true(Bertrand Russell)[Love asks that you surrender common sense]

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The campaign is pretty much over. The major battles have been fought. Somehow I feel like I'm leaving a friend behind. The O's have been a good form of escapism for me. Once I get back "home", the relentless surges of problems and conflicts will we be out to rape me. I have to maintain status quo but I doubt I'd wait for a long time this time as stated from one of the sayings avove, "If you wait too long, it might be too late. Call right now".

Other then that, The battle is 3/4 done and I'm already gonna prepare myself for the daily battles which will continue even after O's. A battle called Life.

Dear diary,

Day 9 was awful. I was defeated but not totaly by History due to major tactical errors.

These are the main 2:
- Wrong battle strategy. Studied China but did not come out for Structured Essay. In the end it came out for Source based. A slap on the face for me.

-Carelessness. I was already in a state of panic when I was doing my SEQ. So instead of putting question no. 3a and 3b, I wrote down 4a and 4b on both my answer sheet and cover page.

Another factor which cannot be helped was fever. A really wrong time for my body to get sick..Was practically struggling through the paper to stay alert. And I looked after you properly these days by eating lots of vegies and ensuring you've got ample ammounts of rest. So why do you have to betray me!!! *strangles body*

Sigh...My morale has definetly reached an all time low for this campaign so far. Somehow need to find that boost, that surge of morale back or god knows how I'll fare for the rest of the O level campaign..

Dear diary,

Day 8 was a total last-minute check for tommorow's battle. Though I'm still uncertain if the amount of stuff that I've studied has gone through my skull. O ther then that, I guess it was finally a time to change this blog's image. Could literaly feel how old it got. And here it is, the theme which best represents the me now.

Dear diary,

Day 6 was a great day. It was just a humbling day. A reality check for me too. What was fun was that I got to play with the pidgeons! 8D

Well, after a day studying, I decided to do my usual jog around the mini park infront of my house. Well, on my 1st lap, a group of pidgeons were blocking the pathway since they were feeding. So I decided to slowdown my pace and tap on my psp three times with a smile to warn them that I was passing through. It took a bit and I had to jog on the spot to let them pass but they moved away so I continued jogging.

On the second lap, I did the same thing. This time they responded more quickly. I didn't take much notice but on the 3rd lap, as I approached the pidgeons, they just made way for me without me having to signal to them! D8 And they did it for the subsequent rounds! It was AWESOME! >__<

Oh~ There was an event on one of the laps that this white pidgeon was hopping away from me. It looked alittle afraid and was unsure whether to fly of or not. I just chuckled and slowed my pace down to show that I'm harmless. In the end, we managed to almost complete half a lap!

This must be the reason why I have a thing for pidgey, pidgeotto and pidgeot when I play pokémon >___< But it was seriously awesome. Given the chance, I'd like to play with the pidgeons again and maybe, one day, I'd be able to tame the whole load of em? That'd be AWESOME!

Day 7. Was a slow day. Woke up in the morning with a bad dose of headaches and coughs. Guhh =w= Went to check my temperature and worst case scenario was confirmed. I was down with fever. Worst thing which could happen now, in the middle of exams aka the battlefield. Sigh, so body, please pleaaaasseee I beg you. Recover quickly so that we could fight this war together again.

Other than that, day 6 and 7 has been a good reality check for me. I now know that even if 99% of my hardwork is gonna be useless, then after I have done 99% of that useless work, that 1% is treasure waiting to be found.

So it doesn't matter if it's love or studies. For studies, I'll just keep going at with full force to complete that 99% of useless work ^__^ . For love, it's not something that can be forced. It's something I fall into. And I guess I have. From then on, it's just like a river, flowing and flowing till it reaches the sea. So, this particular "river" I have chosen. I'll just need to stay afloat and see where this journey leads me to next!

Oh man..I seriously gotta pen my thoughts down =w=

Dear diary,

It's been 5 days since I've been sent to the warfront. Here, it's every man for himself, fighting their very own battles. Struggling to survive in this dog eat dog world.

Day 1, the mission was to bring down the subject, code named, Chemistry. I wasn't really satisfied with the outcome of the battle though. I felt that I could have and should have done better. But how much damage have I dealt to the enemy, only time would tell.

Day 2's mission was much better than the previous day. The mission was code named, "The long evening". Reason being, it was a day where I had to battle 2 papers on a single day. And the two papers are from the enemy, English. The 1st paper starts and ends from 2:30 - 4 pm whereas the 2nd papers starts from 5-6:45pm. And in this mission, I felt that I was succesfull in taking the enemy down. At the end of paper 2, tears couldn't help but roll from my cheeks as I was overwhelmed by a sense of satisfaction and relief for my work. A first, that I've felt this kind of emotion.

Day 3 & 4 was considered a break period but I've used it as a time for preparations for the mission on day 5. As I'll meet my long time nemisis there. Maths.

Today, Day 5. The strong adversary appears. It was an uphill task. The enemy was strong and it got me good in quite a number of areas. Though I feel I won't fail yet I can't guarentee high marks either. The enemy was strong. Yes. We shall meet again on Day 11. I swear I will take you down or I won't be able to face her properly!

Well, it's been full of ups and downs. Both personal conflicts back home and at the warfront. Sigh. It just makes me feel that I'd rather stay at the warfront. Taking O levels. Not being able to go back where more problems, conflicts lie ahead to be solved. As in the warfront, I'll just need to worry of keeping myself alive and take each enemy down sytematically and as cleanly as possible. I'd just have to worry bout myself. Selfish? I guess so. But if I can't even guard my own back, how am I supposed to guard others?

Mann~O levels sure have put some thought in my mentality. I guess this is a small taste as to how soldiers feel when they go to war. No wonder people change when they go to war..And I think I'll be no different and unable to run away from this change..

Today

The day I was let into this world.

A world full of never ending problems and challenges.

A world where one struggles to find peace and happiness.

To find love and salvation.

Today

The calm before the storm.

A time before I am sent to war.

Tiramisu in hand,

prepared with tender loving care,

with a farewell kiss I bid good bye,

hoping to return to this place I call home.

To everyone who wished me well,

Thank you.

For I am going into war.

Jerrald Yeo!

ScREW youuuuu!!!

Screw youuuuu!!

But thank you =w=
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Cos, tonight will be the night that fall for you over again,
Don't make me change my mind.

Okay.

I've decided.

As in really.

Truthfully.

I'll let go.

It's only gentlemanly to consider a woman's feelings and be strong enough to stop and walk away.

I guess it's part and parcel of wanting to get a single rose in a garden of it's thorns.

The sting aftermath.

Alright. Another small update. Finally kicked myself to solve the imeem player blocking the text thingy. The player could not be shrunk so I just aligned the post text into the center. At least now you guys can read my posts properly without trying to guess or copy and paste the text onto the notepad or something. And yeah, I've finally changed the song for the blog. It's Tsukiko Amano's Zero no Chouritsu. The theme song for Fatal frame 4 Tsukihami no Kamen ( Mask of the lunar eclipse). Sadly this is also the last song she'll be producing and plans to retire. Sigh, and she had such a powerful voice D8

Well, reason why I put up this song is cos it's gonna be my ending credits song for the time at the start of O levels and till the end.

Firstly, I shall dedicated this song to myself ^__^

-Crush by David Archuleta-

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush

'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away
Goin' away

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away
Goin' away

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away
This crush ain't goin' away
Goin' away
Goin' away
Goin' away

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Alright, onto the next part. I've finally recorded chizuru and played to the best of my ability =w=. Though there's some mistakes here and there, I think this would be the best cover of Chizuru I have so far and I'm finaaalllyyy getting the hang of changing the pedals >__< Anyways, here's my cover of Chizuru. Enjoy and do go to the actual URL to rate/give comments =3

Alright!

I know that was fast but,
I've been enlightened.

Shaved hair.(For repentance)
4 cans of redbull.(For the element of death due to overdose)
From Jurong East to Boon lay,
and back again.

I staked my life on the run to see what fate had for me. Something which I do when all hope is lost. And apparently, I made it alive. So I guess fate still wanted me alive. The best part? The final sprint to my lift, the songs "Cassis" followed by "What about now?" began playing from my psp. With those final verses of "cassis" being, "I will walk together, the future's not promised to the future which you are" and the chorus of "what about now? ", I finally understood what I had to do and closed the "spiritual" run as I touched down infront of my block's lift. As the lift slowly took me up to my floor, the question, "what about now?" rang in my head. And as I reached the 9th floor,I peered out of the ledge and saw hands on the ground floor calling out for me. I looked away and felt that home was where I was supposed to go. I didn't die from that run, so that means, my life on earth is not fulfilled yet.

So, the big question, "WHAT ABOUT NOW? "

Well, simple. I shall wait. Till the time is right. Till you see me as the man for you. For I am a touch-me-not, who closes when people touch me yet, I'll gladly open up when the rain falls down on me.

My brain is clogged.

I am angry with myself.

I am agonised.

I am in despair.

I am kicking the bucket.

I am giving her up.

And I believe a hiatus is in order.

I'll just make myself dissapear for a whole 6 months

Re-appear to fulfil that promise of cosplaying tyki.

GE? I might just kick the bucket for that.

So, I guess it's farewell then.

P.S: Happy now?

-SCRAP POST-

Just a post to store in famous phrases and sayings as I'm borrowing a book on it from my friend.

-Friendship-

-A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails. (Anonymous)[Be there for your friends when they forget to be there for themselves]

-Strangers are just friends waiting to happen(Anonymous)

-The ornament of the house is the friends who frequent it(Ralph Waldo Emerson)[The most beautiful thing you can invite into your home is a friend]

-The antidote for 50 enemies is one friend(Aristotle)


-Romance-

-The sound of a kiss is not so loud as a cannon, but it's echo lasts a great deal longer(Oliver Wendell Holmes)[One gesture of love stirs a thousand emotions]

-Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold(Renée Schwartz)

-At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet(Plato)[Love releases the very best in all of us. Even the shyest soul finds a divine vocabulary]

-The great question - which I have not been able to answer - is, "What does a woman want?"(Sigmund Freud)[When a woman is a mystery, loving her is an endless adventure]

-The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're alive(O.A Battista)[The joy you give by expressing your love is more potent than the embarrassment you feel]

-If you were going to die soon and had only one phonecall you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?(Stephen Levine)[If you wait too long, it might be too late. Call right now]

-There's no need for an aniversary to celebrate. Everyday with you is a celebration(anonymous)[Love daily: celebrate every day)

-The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves(William Penn)[Being jealous of others is harmful to you. Being joyful of others is good for you)

-To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose is the next best(William Thackery)[Love is a gift worth giving, even when it's not well-recieved]

-Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love(Issac Newton)[Love is a different law of nature)

-You know when you are truly in love with someone, when you miss them even before they leave(George Shore)[Once you give your heart away, it never comes all the way back]

-I did not know I loved you until I heared myself telling you so. For one instant I thought,"Good god, what have I said?" and then I knew it was true(Bertrand Russell)[Love asks that you surrender common sense]

-Love doesn't make the world fo round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile(Franklin Jones)

-Anyone can be passionate but it takes real lovers to be silly(Rose Franken)[When we are in love its safe to act like children]

-Tell me who loves you and admires you, and I will tell you who you are(Charles augustin)[Be yourself. The love and admiration you deserve will always find you]

-Some people think its holding on that makes one strong - Somerimes its letting go(Robert Taylor)[Letting go takes strength - and builds it]

-Holdays are like love: anticipated with relish, experienced with inconvinience and remembered with nostalgia(Shea Williams)[Love is an uncertain journey. You cant control the experience; you can only enjoy the ride]

-Love is like truth - sometimes it prevails,sometimes it hurts(Victor Garcia)[You cannot control love - that's what makes it such a joy to find]

-Love does not care to define and is never in a hurry to do so(Charles du Bois)[Describing love adds nothing to it]

-Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroided by imagination(Voltaire)[Love is a masterpiece and you are the painter]

-Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and learn to play from your heart(Thelonious Monk)[In love there are no boundaries. Your heart will lead the way]

-Hopeless romantics are only hopeless in the eyes of those who don't believe in romance(Jean Zheng)[Romantics see love where others do not]

-To have the rose, you must accept the thorns(Joe sin)[If you avoid all the pains of love, you'll also miss the pleasures]

-Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see no less(Joshua Gordon)[Love is when we accept someone with their failings, not in spite of them]

-SPECIAL-

-life is like a puzzle,every sidebacks and joys you have is like a piece being fitted in(Jerrald Yeo a.k.a Justice)

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Kudos to my classmate, Loh Yuan Bin, for giving me the opportunity to read such an awesome book which will be my bedtime storybook for the rest of the weekend.