Pungent smelling hair sprays,
Along with cosmetics.

Spurs from friends,
Cheers from the crowd.

When it's all said and done,
My heart and pride,
shattered in an instant,
by the harsh reality.

I wanted to open up my floodgates
and drown myself,
in all that effort which has gone
down the drain.

However, those gates just won't open.

Why?
I wonder.
What's keeping them shut?

Looking up,
I remember..
Of the friends who've supported me
through and through..
Thick and thin..
Always there when I need them.

Their support and cheers,
kept those tear-filled gates shut.
But olny for a moment.

Family who wouldn't even understand.
The shame, feeling of losing and lost pride.
The grey clouds of harsh reality came again
And it began to rain.